now I feel so saturated, oh I'd rather be serrated
by orange-yarn
Summary: The 100 High School AU, Part 5. There are probably a billion places you'd rather be than at the Waffle House with eighteen rowdy teenage boys. You look at your life, and you look at your choices, and you wonder why you let your brother rope you into tagging along. (Octavia POV. Sequel to "was using loneliness, and now it's using me.")


**Here is part 5 - this time we get Octavia's POV. I first started writing this right after Bellamy's part, but I realized it would work better if it happened just a little later on. I'm glad I saved it for now, as I think it turned out better.**

**If you're new to this AU, you probably want to read these in order:**

**1. I can't help the fuss, I'd trade it for quiet**

**2. there are answers here, they're just harder to figure out**

**3. I am quiet now, and silence gives you space**

**4. was using loneliness, and now it's using me**

**And here is number five! You can find the others in my profile. :)**

**Title is from "Waves" by Sleeper Agent.**

* * *

It's 10:30 on a Tuesday night, and you are standing in a parking lot, bathed in the fluorescent yellow glow of the Waffle House sign. Practically the whole place is windows, and you can see the varsity soccer team occupying just about the entire restaurant. They look like they're having a pretty good time, especially considering they just lost their fourth consecutive game.

There are probably a billion places you'd rather be than at the Waffle House with eighteen rowdy teenage boys. You look at your life, and you look at your choices, and you wonder why you let your brother rope you into tagging along.

It happened like this - Bellamy texted you, _Be ready in 5, I'm picking you up. _Did he say where you were going, or why you should drop everything to join him? Of course he didn't. For as long as you can remember, Bellamy's always just assumed that you'd go along with everything he said. When you were a kid, it was basically true - you were more like his shadow than his sister, always trailing along behind him. He never seemed to mind, you think he even liked it, liked being able to take care of you, to protect you. You grew up convinced he was some kind of superhero, the way he always came to your rescue.

You're older, now, and while you'll always love your brother like crazy, you've also come to realize that he can be an arrogant jerk when he puts his mind to it. It's worse, now that he's a senior, _and_ team captain - apparently it doesn't matter that his team totally sucks. It's like he purposefully modeling his attitude after the stereotypical jock in every high school movie ever made. You wouldn't be surprised if he shoved actual freshmen into their lockers today, or stole some kid's lunch money.

It's all bravado, is the most embarrassing part. He not half the macho tough guy he pretends to be. He can be sweet, except you're the only one who ever gets to see it. You aren't sure where he thinks all the cockiness and attitude is going to get him, but you hope he figures it out, because sooner or later, you're gonna be the only one left in his corner.

Maybe that's why you went along with him tonight, no questions asked. You could have ignored him, just to rile him up - he's probably done something to deserve it. But, he's your brother, and literally _nothing_ was happening on Tumblr, so you sat cross-legged at the end of your driveway and waited for him to show up.

The bell above the door jingles when you let yourself in. A couple of the guys glance over, but most of them already have food in front of them and they are in the _zone_. Bellamy stops to talk to Wells and another kid, sitting up at the counter, but you make a beeline for the booths.

You drop into one of the only empty spots left, across from Atom. He's one of your brother's cronies, but he's cute enough. You flash a smile. "How was the game tonight?"

Atom shrugs. "You didn't miss much." He's pointedly _not_ looking at you, the same way all the guys that are afraid of your brother don't look at you.

Unfortunately for you, the list includes nearly everyone in your school.

A shadow falls over your table, all ominous and foreboding. "Get up," Bellamy says. He doesn't even use his threatening voice, but Atom just about throws himself out of the seat anyway. He retreats to the relative safety of Murphy's booth, halfway across the restaurant. It's kind of pathetic, to be perfectly honest.

Bellamy takes Atom's spot, settling himself across the table from you, and pulls a menu from behind the napkin dispenser. If you glared any harder, you'd probably burn holes through the laminated paper. "What do you want to eat?" he asks, all nonchalant, like he isn't actively trying to _ruin your life._

Because yeah, sure, it's nice to know that Bellamy is looking out for you or whatever, and that he loves you, but if you looked up 'overprotective' in the dictionary you'd see a picture of your brother, arms crossed and looming over some poor guy trying to ask for your number.

"You can't keep doing that," you hiss, and Bellamy looks at you, his eyes flicking up from the menu. "I am allowed to talk to people."

Bellamy lays the menu down, then crosses his arms on the table. "Not him," he says, simple as that. He glances out at the rest of his team, scattered around the restaurant. "Not _any _of them."

You want to argue, even though it's pointless. Bellamy will tell you not to do something, and you'll ignore him and do what you want. It's always the same old cycle with the two of you. He tries to micromanage your entire life, and acts like it's no big deal, like _he's_ doing _you_ a favor, and you're sick of it. You cannot _wait _until he graduates.

Finally you say, "They're your friends," but Bellamy just shakes his head.

"That's my point," he says, and you don't know how to respond to that. Lucky for you, the waitress shows up, and you're distracted trying to figure out what to order. It's the _Waffle _House, you didn't think there'd be so many options, but whatever. It alleviates some of the tension, anyway.

When she's gone, you ask, "Why you'd bring me here, Bell?" because obviously it wasn't to hang out with his team. You realize that even the booth next to yours has cleared out - maybe to give the two of you privacy, but probably because all of these guys are afraid to get too close to you.

Bellamy doesn't answer for a long while - long enough that the waitress comes back, sliding two orange juices across the table. He thanks her quietly, them turns back to you. "I barely see you anymore," he says, and that much is true. Between his job and soccer practice he always comes home late - some nights, even later than your mom. "How are your classes going?"

You could tell him about how you totally aced your geometry test, or about how you're thinking of joining drama club - except you're irritated, and you know just how to get under his skin, and you have the ammunition to do.

"Jasper Jordan is my lab partner," you tell him, your tone light. It has the desired effect - Bellamy pales, and his hand clenches on his glass. "Remember him? He's the kid that you-"

Bellamy cuts you off. "I know who he is," he says, keeping his voice low. "Can we please not have this conversation?"

"I thought you wanted to talk?" you ask innocently, swirling your orange juice around with your straw.

"We can talk about anything other than that." Bellamy obviously wasn't expecting you to go there. It was kind of a low blow, you guess, using what happened this summer against him. You're probably the only person who actually knows how guilty Bellamy actually feels for all of that. He was a wreck, those weeks before Jasper woke up, when nobody really knew if he would live or die. He didn't mean for any of that to happen, but it did.

Of course, your brother was just that sort of stubborn that meant he would never go and apologize to the kid, even though it would make them both feel better. Jasper would probably forgive him, even. You never really knew Jasper, before the two of you got paired up in chemistry, but it didn't take long to figure him out. He's a little weird, but funny, and kind, and he's always trying to make you smile. He's a nice guy, and you genuinely like him.

And now, watching as Bellamy calms himself down, you're realizing something else about Jasper. The entire school knows what happened at that party. If Bellamy cares a bit about his reputation - and he does, you know he does - then he won't say a word to Jasper. He would look like such a tool, bullying the kid that he already put in the hospital. It wouldn't be worth the risk to Bellamy, not when wants so badly to be respected.

Maybe Bellamy's tuning into your brainwaves, because he narrows his eyes in suspicion and asks, "What?"

"Nothing," you say, and you smile - but Bellamy's known you your whole life, and he knows when you're up to something. He frowns, like he's worried.

Good. He should be.

* * *

**Monty will be up next - that's another one that I had started writing a while ago, but then put off.**

**Thank you so much for taking the time to read, please let me know what you think! :)**


End file.
